Deja |
Deja Flowers, 20
New Jersey 31 March 2016 |
Victoria Awkward: When I say the phrase “natural hair” what does it mean to you?
Deja Flowers: To me, it’s the stuff you were born with that comes out of the top of your head, without you touching or tampering with it.
VA: Has someone said negative/hurtful commentary about your hair either purposely or mistakenly? What were they? Why did they hurt?
DF: A lot of the negativity comes from my family. My grandmother and mother used to ask me “where are you going with your hair out like that?” She would tell me to get it done, even if I might’ve just finished styling my hair. And my grandfather says stuff like “I don’t like your hair natural like that.” But I just tell him it’s how I’d like to wear my hair. He would respond, “I still don’t like that. You should straighten it.”
Pauses to reflect
A lot of the times I feel like my family is just trying to stick to what they know and that they are afraid to try things apart from their own experiences. Its almost like we do all these new and "brave" things as the next generation and they're scared shitless of what the outcome might be, good or bad. Sometimes I think it’s because they never tried to stray from what was taught to them as being good. As being, right, you know?
Victoria Awkward: When I say the phrase “natural hair” what does it mean to you?
Deja Flowers: To me, it’s the stuff you were born with that comes out of the top of your head, without you touching or tampering with it.
VA: Has someone said negative/hurtful commentary about your hair either purposely or mistakenly? What were they? Why did they hurt?
DF: A lot of the negativity comes from my family. My grandmother and mother used to ask me “where are you going with your hair out like that?” She would tell me to get it done, even if I might’ve just finished styling my hair. And my grandfather says stuff like “I don’t like your hair natural like that.” But I just tell him it’s how I’d like to wear my hair. He would respond, “I still don’t like that. You should straighten it.”
Pauses to reflect
A lot of the times I feel like my family is just trying to stick to what they know and that they are afraid to try things apart from their own experiences. Its almost like we do all these new and "brave" things as the next generation and they're scared shitless of what the outcome might be, good or bad. Sometimes I think it’s because they never tried to stray from what was taught to them as being good. As being, right, you know?
VA: Do you think hair is important?
DF: To extent, yes. It’s as important as you want it to be. I write sometimes, and when creating a story, I always think about what is essential to that particular character. Sometimes their hair is important, like if it is big and fills up plenty of space, then maybe that character has a very bold personality. Hair is just a way to express one’s self. And for my stories, if their hair weren’t as important I wouldn’t mention it to the reader. I apply this, somewhat, to real life.
VA: Is hair important to you?
DF: Sometimes. Sometimes I really don’t care and I’ll just leave it as is and go on about my business. A lot of times I am only wearing protective styles simply because I just want my own hair to grow. I like to have fun with my hair from time to time and I appreciate the versatility. Being able to change it is so important to me.
VA: How often do you see POC with curly hair or locs in the media?
DF: Not that often, and it honestly depends. If you are looking at TV and you’re watching Bad Girls Club or flipping through whatever magazine, you’ll probably see that most of them have some sort of straight or “tamed” hair. If you’re looking at things surrounding the growing Afropunk culture you will see that mostly everybody is embracing their natural state, hair and all. Also on social media sites such as Tumblr and YouTube there is a lot more of the natural hair and love yourself empowerment stuff appearing and I think it’s awesome.
DF: Not that often, and it honestly depends. If you are looking at TV and you’re watching Bad Girls Club or flipping through whatever magazine, you’ll probably see that most of them have some sort of straight or “tamed” hair. If you’re looking at things surrounding the growing Afropunk culture you will see that mostly everybody is embracing their natural state, hair and all. Also on social media sites such as Tumblr and YouTube there is a lot more of the natural hair and love yourself empowerment stuff appearing and I think it’s awesome.
VA: Does whitewashing/misrepresentation of POC in the media affect children of color and their perception of their natural features?
DF:I had this conversation with my dad. Regarding shows like The Real Housewives and Love and Hip Hop. It is reflecting some of us in a negative light. Sometimes you feel like the media is trying to show you what you should look like, dress like and act like. Sometimes it does influences you. Especially when you’re young and more vulnerable. I know for a fact that TV influences me. For example, when I’m watching Greys Anatomy I tend to believe, for a few seconds at a time, that I actually am a surgeon who knows exactly how to operate on the human brain.
Laughter
The media even influences people who are older. I see that in my mom sometimes, she’ll be like “I want to curse this bitch out!” She’s usually not like that, I swear! And when she’s got Wendy Williams on she almost becomes another person. There’s always significantly more celebrity gossip in our living room.
The media is highly influential and if children are watching TV and scrolling through social media you better believe it’s going to play into how they view themselves and how they act.
DF:I had this conversation with my dad. Regarding shows like The Real Housewives and Love and Hip Hop. It is reflecting some of us in a negative light. Sometimes you feel like the media is trying to show you what you should look like, dress like and act like. Sometimes it does influences you. Especially when you’re young and more vulnerable. I know for a fact that TV influences me. For example, when I’m watching Greys Anatomy I tend to believe, for a few seconds at a time, that I actually am a surgeon who knows exactly how to operate on the human brain.
Laughter
The media even influences people who are older. I see that in my mom sometimes, she’ll be like “I want to curse this bitch out!” She’s usually not like that, I swear! And when she’s got Wendy Williams on she almost becomes another person. There’s always significantly more celebrity gossip in our living room.
The media is highly influential and if children are watching TV and scrolling through social media you better believe it’s going to play into how they view themselves and how they act.
VA: If you had to give advice to a young person of color who was struggling with their natural beauty what would it be?
DF: Well I’m struggling with my own beauty right now. So my hypocrite self would tell them to look into the mirror and to tell themselves that they love themselves, even if they feel like they don’t. It is important to give yourself the love you seek in others everyday. Boy, I am such a hypocrite. I’d also encourage them to find other people who empower them. Find people not to lie to them but to help them to feel good about themselves. Find friends who do so, those who won’t tear them down. If it’s family it can be difficult at times, but it’s good to have someone on your side and help lift you up. |
VA: Do you feel that the problems people of color face with their hair reflect a bigger issue in society?
DF: I think there is a lot of negativity still towards our natural features, even though the natural hair movement is becoming bigger. There are still people who want to cover up and portray themselves as different. There is still a stigma around natural hair. It’s still hard for people to get jobs with natural hair especially if people have dreads. Because they are seen as dirty
VA: Why may locs be seen as dirty?
DF: Here is my theory: Sometimes white people with straight hair want dreads. To get dreads sometimes those people have to not wash their hair, so it actually is dirty. But for people of color our hair locs easily, and we wash our hair when we have locs. So maybe they are contributing what they would have to do to loc their hair to our hair. But that’s just a thought.
Also, a lot of people see locs, associate it with things like reggae, weed, etc. and there are just a lot of other unnecessary negative stereotypes that get carried around with it.
DF: I think there is a lot of negativity still towards our natural features, even though the natural hair movement is becoming bigger. There are still people who want to cover up and portray themselves as different. There is still a stigma around natural hair. It’s still hard for people to get jobs with natural hair especially if people have dreads. Because they are seen as dirty
VA: Why may locs be seen as dirty?
DF: Here is my theory: Sometimes white people with straight hair want dreads. To get dreads sometimes those people have to not wash their hair, so it actually is dirty. But for people of color our hair locs easily, and we wash our hair when we have locs. So maybe they are contributing what they would have to do to loc their hair to our hair. But that’s just a thought.
Also, a lot of people see locs, associate it with things like reggae, weed, etc. and there are just a lot of other unnecessary negative stereotypes that get carried around with it.
VA: Why is it important for people of color to accept their natural beauty (not just hair)?
DF: Because we are important, too. We are our own kings and queens. If you’re always seeing someone being portrayed as higher then you are that can bring you down. We should look to ourselves and say we are beautiful. We can do all of these amazing things and then some.
This is also a hard question so I’m going to need to think about it for a couple of hours.
laughter
No one else is going to lift us up except ourselves. Especially black women, most of the time there is not that many people vouching for us. So we need to take that into account. It’s like, if you don’t help your own no one else is really going to.
DF: Because we are important, too. We are our own kings and queens. If you’re always seeing someone being portrayed as higher then you are that can bring you down. We should look to ourselves and say we are beautiful. We can do all of these amazing things and then some.
This is also a hard question so I’m going to need to think about it for a couple of hours.
laughter
No one else is going to lift us up except ourselves. Especially black women, most of the time there is not that many people vouching for us. So we need to take that into account. It’s like, if you don’t help your own no one else is really going to.
Photographer: Nathaniel Magloire
Interviewer: Victoria Awkward
Interviewer: Victoria Awkward